Why our brain sabotages us into thinking we are not photogenic
Over the past 10 years as a photographer, I’ve met so many BEAUTIFUL women, that were very self-conscious. Why is it happening and how to overcome it?
What I’m telling people when I hear "I’m not photogenic"
I heard all kinds of fears from people who never had a professional photoshoot:
“anxious when it’s time to pose“
“it just doesn’t come naturally to me“
“feel bad after looking at my photos“
I never try to convince with words because I believe a photo is much stronger than any words. Instead I concentrate on relaxing my clients and making sure they just have the best time of their life. And while they laugh and talk I gently take some photos and show them. And WOW! The reaction I get is amazing!
What was the secrete here you could use? Don’t overthink it, relax, concentrate on what make you comfortable and just have fun. Your photos will show it, and you will love them. Trust me
1. How to not overthink?
I know, not overthinking can be super tricky, especially if you had previously unpleasant experience, but I have a theory why our brain makes us overthink and worry.
I remember, as a teenager, watching an episode of Desperate Housewives. One of the main characters, the incredibly beautiful Gabi, goes out to dinner with her husband without makeup to set an example for her daughter, who’s eager to start wearing it. But Gabi feels extremely uncomfortable without makeup, apologising to people, insisting that she’s not sick, just makeup-free. She tries to hide and ultimately runs to the bathroom to put on some makeup because she can’t bear the pressure—pressure she created in her own mind.
Now imagine me, a 13-year-old, watching this scene. It leaves an impression: if such an incredibly beautiful woman needs makeup to feel confident, then surely I do too. Otherwise, I’ll feel incomplete.
Corporations benefit from making us self-conscious because it makes it easier to sell products that promise to "improve" us.
This is just one small example. If you look around, every advertisement bombards us with thoughts of our unperfection, making us more vulnerable so we’re easier to profit from. Over time, this creates a subconscious belief that we are not enough and we start to overthink.
At some point in my life, this realisation hit me like a revelation. Once I understood this, I immediately felt lighter, and I began analysing my actions and thoughts, questioning whether I was under society’s influence at any given moment.
For me, music is what helps me relax and stop overthinking. What helps you? Love to hear in the comments
2. Positive Experience
Another reason stopping us from feeling photogenic, is a lack of good experiences. But one bad experience doesn’t mean all other experiences would be the same. One bad experience shouldn’t stop us. How to fix bad experience, we need to realise that everything we do is a skill, like playing basketball, cooking or running - we just need a bit of practice. This is my advice how to get up and running into posing: practice and don’t judge yourself for mistakes we all do when we learn something new.
For me, it’s obvious: when I’m in front of the camera, I can’t see myself, so I have no idea if my hands look awkward or if my legs look okay. Look how I was posing when I knew nothing about posing vs how I pose now when I learned it.
When I was learning how to pose I was practicing in front of the mirror or with front phone camera. Just pick one pose you like and try to recreate it. You can use Pinterest or my posing tutorial videos. Start slowly with one pose - just practice it a few time in front of the mirror and then next time you’ll be posing for photo - use pose you learned.
Concentrate on what makes you feel comfortable - don’t pick poses where you don’t feel yourself. Each pose you do always should feels right for you.
If you want to dive deeper into learning posing - check out my Posing guide.
3. Self love & Support
Support is crucial—especially from yourself. As a child, I was quite chubby, and my classmates teased me, calling me "donut." My school years were tough because of this psychological pressure, but I always kept on repeat one phrase inside my head “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger“.
I had a supportive grandma who always listened me and it was helpful, just to let all my thoughts out. I think that love from my family and self support inside helped me endure the bullying without being deeply scarred.
I think since that time I love listening people, because I felt on myself how healing it can be if someone is truly listening. And if I need support from myself I write down all my thought on paper and in the same way it gives me feeling that I listen to myself.
You are your best friend
It’s so so so important to treat yourself with love and care! We are our best friends! Starting today, try giving yourself more love because you deserve it.
One simple, yet incredibly effective way is to gently hug yourself, stroke your shoulders, and give yourself the love you might be needing in that moment.
Remember, self-doubt may come and go, but your ability to create, love, and grow is limitless. The journey to understanding ourselves is ongoing, and every step, even the smallest one, matters. Keep exploring, keep capturing, and know that you're exactly where you need to be. If you found this helpful, stick around—there’s so much more to discover together.